I call it pride

        Wow! I did not realize how easy it is to get side tracked. I have been so caught up with work, church, tutoring and at home duties. Finding the balance to do all these things and still have to blog has definitely been a challenge and I am still working on it. Anyways enough with my excuses, it’s a fresh month and life is still blooming inside of me so I’d just like to share a short poem that I wrote a few weeks ago.

     I wrote this poem because I was experiencing some minor conflicts regarding individuals who feel or felt the urge to judge, persecute and talk behind the backs of myself and others. I cannot deny the fact that I myself, have played those roles before and thank God that He convicts me through others or directly speaks to me when I find myself in that position. It is definitely a childish and immature way to live. And I am so thankful that even when I find myself judging someone or persecuting them because of how their situations may be portrayed, God’s word really puts me in check as I realize that I myself fall short. And I am proud to say that without Him I AM WEAK, SINFUL, PRIDEFUL and the list can go on.  But I know that each day as I take a leap of faith, I am changing and I am growing.

      Based on some of the conflicts I have encountered with people in the past and even in the present, I realize that when we are wrong or have done something wrong, we hesitate to confront ourselves, our actions and most importantly our thoughts in honesty. We rather cover ourselves with shame or pride instead of communicating how we feel or what we’ve done. Sadly, as we feed our ego, we are allowing our mind to be corrupted and more wicked than it is already. It’s like having a disease, if  you don’t treat it while it is in its minor stage, it will reach a point where you will be too weak to fight it. This often happens when we think highly of ourselves, when we think we  are more righteous, more wiser, more financially stable , more “_________” (of something) than others for whatever reason. But the truth is none of us are better than anyone because we all make mistakes, we all fall short and we all hurt one another.  We often think that just because we haven’t been caught by the spider’s web that we can speak of other people’s flaws, past or circumstances. But it is very imperative that we continuously recollect our steps along the way. AtGod-opposes-the-proud some point of our lives we’ve lied, gossip, stolen, killed, broken someone’s heart, backstabbed our friends, cheated, injected our ego with worldly views, I mean I’m sure as you read this you can testify or add on to these listings. The fact is that we should not find pleasure judging someone unless we know and it has been proven that you are perfect (which is impossible lol). And when I see or I hear how people behave when they think they are better than others by judging them it is important to realize that you are just as weak and imperfect as the person you might think you are better than. Let me just clarify that I am not stating that it is wrong to correct someone when they have done something wrong. But as Christians, we shouldn’t look down on others based on their flaws because you “feel” entitled to do so. Remember, our titles don’t last, its the spirit within us that determines our destiny. You may be a doctor, a lawyer, an artist, or a musician but when you die life still goes on and not your title.  So in our society, we should try to refrain ourselves from looking down on others who may not have it all together, instead try a prayer, try stretching out your hand for the person to reach out to, try possibly minding your business unless you find it helpful to share advice that is honest yet loving and respectful. This is a hard thing to do, but as we look towards the cross and continue to be honest about our own issues that we face in our lives, than we can finally wake up from the dead and live in true joy and not momentary happiness.

I hope this encourages you as I conclude with my poem:

” I find it utterly funny how one just as flawed as me can be quick

to point their finger at what seems to be total blasphemy

Forgetting that they themselves have 3 fingers pointing right at back at he or she

Not realizing that they are struggling with their own catastrophe

Refusing to take the L, that they have LOSSED it as well, because of their wicked ways that has turned into clay.

And so I ask, how can they feel? how can they deal with others in a loving way?

You see, a cry for help would make them look weak in the eyes of man and so “welp” he says or “who cares” she says. And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, take a look at the world and watch the award-winning cowards starring as “he said” and “she said”,

unable to stand in their own mess and so they stick their noses in other people’s beds. Because in their heads, they have projected a stage full of lies where they have given themselves a platform, demanding us to put some “respeck on it”. But no one else respects them besides their egoistic, fabricated, phony, self-centered friend, I call pride. 

You see this friend lives in the inside                                                                     with not enough room to hide, their body language screams “IT’S ALL ABOUT ME” 

Oh , how it strives to convince others that it is as delicate as a feather, sweet as the honeycomb, and humble as the sheep. But their selfish ways roars like a dragon and creeps up on you like a snake. 

Believe my words as I share my tale of beauty and the beast.                     It looks like they speak highly of you but very quickly they will turn their backs on you. They will tell you how beautiful you are, yet they envy your bright shining star that bursts right out of your calming spirit.

Very soon you will see that this “fairytale” ends well,

not too far…

this

fairytale

ends

well

Because greater is He who lives in you than what is in the world.                

So they may bite you with judgements that are hard to erase. They may step on your foot on a journey that is actually not a race. And if you are like me, there are times when your hands will want to curl itself into a fist that is ready to leave an imprint of your infinite hit of pain and hatred.                

But as we look up to the skies, down comes the hands of a Greater one, whispering ” I have given you grace.” So when the world comes at you with disgrace, stare right back at it in the face, with your hands releasing the tension as it falls patiently to your sides, with your head held up high, your spirit will respond with, “I choose grace.”

Sincerely,

A changing heart

 

 

 

 

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